para reirse o para llorar!?

http://www.fmylife.com
FML (fuck my life) es una pagina donde la gente resume en pocas lineas sus "tierra tragame" y la gente opina o simplemente vota: yes your life sucks: si, tu vida da asco. o you totally deserved it, te lo merecias completamente.hay algunos ejemplos graciosos...otros sorprendentes otros... that really sucks...y otros that they really deserved.


Today, I told my girlfriend of eight months that if she didn't start taking my band's music seriously, we couldn't see each other anymore. She said fine, and I hugged her, but then she stood up and said 'I hope we can still be friends,' and walked out the door. FML - ups...
poor

Hoy, le dije a mi novia de ocho meses que si no empezaba a tomarse en serio mi grupo de musica no volveriamos a vernos. Ella dijo "Bien..." y yo la abrace, entonces se levanto y dijo " espero que podamos seguir siendo amigos" y salio por la puerta.

Today, I was texting my boyfriend. I noticed that he had added a signature onto his texts that had the date 11/10/09. At first, I blushed and thought it was the date we had become a couple. But then I realized it was just the day the new Call of Duty game comes out. Love you too - jmmmm...

Hoy estaba esccribiendole un sms a mi novio, me di cuenta de que habia añadido una categoria dentro de sus mensajes con la fecha 11/10/09. Al principio me ruborice y pense que era la fecha en la que empezamos a salir, pero entonces me di cuenta que no era mas el dia que el nuevo Call of Duty salio al mercado. Yo tambien te quiero...

Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire - xD ooohh:(

Hoy mi novia me vino proclamando que queria a alguien mas como su Edward. Le pregunte de que Edward se trataba. Levanto su libro de Crepusculo,estaba hablando de un vampiro ficticio...

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. At that point I noticed my phone had fallen out of my pocket in the street and was run over by several cars. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike (poor simpleton , god bless him...at least...)

Hoy vi a un anciano caer en un paso de cebra, y me baje de mi bici para ayudar, mientras le ayudaba el semaforo se puso en verde, en ese punto me di cuenta de que mi movil se habia caido de mi bolsillo en mitad de la carretera y habia sido atropellado por varios coches, entonces vi que alguien me habia robado la bici


Today, my teenage stepdaughters, as a punishment for refusing to buy them iphones, told my wife they saw me in town kissing an attractive blonde and grabbing her ass (all invented). She believed it and i'm single. I've been faithful and feeding the whole family for 10 years. FML(OMG!)

Hoy, mis ahijadas(adolescentes) como castigo por negarme a comprarles unos iphones, le dijeron a mi mujer que me vieron en el pueblo besando a una rubia atractiva y agarrandole el culo, ella se lo creyo, y ahora no tengo pareja. he estado alimentado a toda la familia y siendo fiel durante 10 años.

People comments are funny!:

(The new iPhone motto:
Buy an iPhone or it'll ruin your marriage)

El nuevo lema de iphone: compe un iphone, o arruinaras tu matrimonio!

(Spoiled little brats.
Karma will get them later in life don't worry)

mocosas malcriadas, el karma se lo devolvera mas tarde en la vida, no te preocupes

Teenagers these days....

Adolescentes de hoy en dia...

Pour acid on their faces.

Vierte acido en sus caras

REVENGE!!!

venganza!!

I think it would be acceptable to ruin their marriages when they grow up

Creo que seria aceptable arruinar sus matrimonios cuando crezcan

Your wife is fucking retarded

Tu mujer es jodidamente retrasada

pathetic.

Buy them a single iPhone...and make them share it. They will kill each other

Compra un solo iphone y haz que lo compartan, se mataran entre ellas!!

xDD


Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
(por el amor de dios que asco!!)(for god's sake! it sucks!)

Hoy le mordi el cuello a mi novio... y senti un chorrito en mi boca. Resulta que habia estallado una espinilla de su cuello. Dentro de mi boca...

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to Itunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML

Hoy es mi 18 cumpleaños, mis padres me regalaron un bono de 5 euros en Itunes. Lo regalan con el iPhone que le compraron a mi hermana por su graduacion...

Today, my boyfriend brought me breakfast in bed, told me all the things he loved about me, got down on one knee and pulled out the little blue box I had been hoping for, for so long. He opened the box and there was a note inside that said, "April Fools!"

Hoy mi novio me trajo el desayuno a la cama, me hablo de todas las cosas que le encantaban de mi, se puso de rodillas y saco la pequeña cajita azul que llevaba esperando tanto tiempo... Abrio la caja y habia una nota dentro que decia: Inocente!!!

Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes.

Hoy coji el autobus para ir al trabajo y una dulce viejecita subio detras de mi y se sento a mi lado. A mitad de camino al trabajo se quedo dormida con su cabeza sobre mi hombro. Intentando ser amable intente dulcemente despertarla antes de que llegara mi parada. No estaba dormida. Deje a una mujer muerta apoyarse en mi durante 30 minutos (esta ultima frase me parece mal,vaya tio...)

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying hi. His response, "I got your best friend pregnant".
Hoy le escribi un mensaje a mi novio dicindo hola! su respuesta"he dejado preñada a tu mejor amiga."

Today, I handed my PhD dissertation, which I have spent the past year researching and writing full-time. Last night, my roommate set an autocorrect on Word that changed "neither" to "nigger." I didn't notice until after I handed it in. My professor is black. FML

Hoy entregue mi tesis de filosofia,que me he pasado investigando y escribiendo todo el año pasado. Anoche, mi compañero de habitacion le paso la autocorreccion de Word que cambio "neither"(ni ...) por "nigger" (negrata.(muy ofensivo) No me di cuenta hasta que lo habia entregado.Mi profesor es negro.(es rarisimo que word no reconozca neither y sin embargo acepte nigger como correcto, nigger es slang, ese word es pirata y habla slang, or this is fake!)

(Does Word recognize Nigger? Aint it slang?)